


i would end the world for you

by httproblematic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of self-harm, Sad, Sequel, iwa is a good nugget, kind of??, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:37:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7998874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httproblematic/pseuds/httproblematic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi would never regret Oikawa. Not once, not ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i would end the world for you

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! So, this is a follow up to my previous fic, and if you haven't read that one, it might be good to do so. It isn't necessary, I don't think, but this'll make a lot more sense if you do. Also, this one is from Iwa's POV, unlike before. I was inspired to add onto it, for whatever reason, so here we are. Enjoy!

"Do you regret it?" Oikawa asks one day. They're sitting on his bed, Oikawa's back to his chest, and although Iwaizumi knew this was coming, the question sends shivers down his spine, feels like ice being dragged across his hands and throat. Does he regret it? Never. 

"Regret what, Tooru?" He questions, even though they both know what he means, both know that he's talking about Iwaizumi regretting him, regretting ever kissing him, making love to him 5 months ago, as if that was ever an emotion he could feel. Does he regret loving Tooru? He would regret being born before regretting that. 

The words burn like hot coal on his tongue and he feels the need to spit them out, to breathe the truth into existence, but he remembers that he played dumb and he doesn't. 

(He should.) 

Oikawa stands, turns away from him as he lets out a shaky breath and looks down, doesn't meet his eyes when all Iwaizumi wants to do is stare into them until the stars and sun burn out, until the fear that lives inside of Oikawa collapses into dust. 

Oikawa is burning holes into the floor but Iwaizumi doesn't stop him. As much as it hurts, he knows. He knows every piece. 

"I've just been difficult to deal with, you know? This hasn't been easy for me but it hasn't been easy for you and I'm always a mess and I cry a lot and I act fake because I don't always know what real feels like anymore, and I will never blame you, can't blame you if you're changing your mind about me and about us, Hajime." He whispers. 

The words are spoken soft and quiet into the bedroom, but the weight of them is like that of a 500 story building being placed atop Iwaizumi's chest. 

He wonders then if he's ever said anything, done anything, whispered something unknowingly into Oikawa's arms, his ears, that could make him feel this way. 

Make him feel so small and inadequate and unloved when Iwaizumi feels he is the sun and moon and everything that has ever mattered to him.

Healing isn't easy, though. Iwaizumi knows this, has seen it with his own naked eyes and naked heart, has seen Oikawa cry a raging ocean onto a bloody bathroom floor, seen him shake and scream with angry hands and an angry throat. Seen his nails on his thighs, trying to scratch away a disease that cannot be identified on the skin, cannot be cured with pink pills and sleep. 

Years of hurt don't leave after one kiss or after a million, and as much as Iwaizumi wishes he could kiss the empty away with eager lips and a willing tongue, he knows that it isn't something that goes away through touch. That it isn't something Oikawa can control. 

Iwaizumi stands, takes small, slow steps to where Oikawa is, turns him around. 

The boys eyes are damp and swollen red, but he looks like a sunset and nothing less of that as always, because Oikawa is the kind of beautiful that doesn't fade, even when the light is dim in the worst ways. 

"Do you regret me, Tooru?" He whispers. The words taste bitter, untrue. 

Oikawa swallows, shakes his head quick, the response natural and automatic. Natural. 

"I would throw away the sky before that, Iwa-chan.." He croaks. 

"Then believe this once and forever after that when I tell you that I would end the world before ending us, Oikawa Tooru." 

The silence is thick but it isn't uncomfortable. The room gets lighter. 

"Tooru, you will never be something I change my mind about." He says, watching the way Oikawa's breath hitches, the way his glossy eyes fill with something like hope, something like trust, something like being alive, and it is something he has not seen in awhile since the honeymoon phase ended and Iwaizumi feels his own eyes shine at the sight. He wonders how Oikawa can't see the beauty he holds but he understands that it isn't something the boy asked for. 

He loves him regardless. 

"I have loved you since that day in the locker room, since that first time, and I don't care about your flaws or your scars or any new scars that surface. I will stay because I do love you and when I tell you I love you I don't lie. What use would that be, silly?" He asks gently, reaching out a warm hand to press against Oikawa's trembling shoulder. 

The boy snuffles, pawing at his face with long fingers. Iwaizumi beats him to it, smoothing away the tears with the flick of his thumb. 

"It wouldn't be of any use at all." He admits, leaning into the touch. Iwaizumi laughs and he isn't sure of why, but he does, and when Oikawa follows him in that action, the sun is blinding his vision again, radiating out of Oikawa's eyes and lips and teeth and chest. 

He looks like heaven. 

"You're right, baby, you're right. It wouldn't be useful. It'd be pretty dumb and a waste of my time. A waste of my time is the last thing that you are, I wouldn't stay if I didn't want to. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have done a thing." He mumbles, cradling the back of the boys head, fingers smoothing through the feathery locks of Oikawa's hair. 

They meet eyes and for a quiet moment, it feels like the first time all over again. The first time he's ever met melted chocolate eyes and porcelain skin, smooth like silk sheets. He knows that it is far from the first time, that he has met these eyes with his own millions of times in his life before, has seen them happy and dreary and empty, full of stars and moonbeams and planets. 

He could never regret Oikawa. 

"I'm sorry I doubted you again, Hajime.." Oikawa whispers against Iwaizumi's lips, nimble fingers tangling into the rough of Iwaizumi's hair. Iwaizumi lets out a small huff, slotting his lips between the plush pair he has grown to love and crave, the pair that belongs in between his own forever and always, always and beyond that. 

"Don't apologize for what you can't control. I'm here to reassure you when you need it, sunshine." 

Oikawa laughs, the sound like the chime of a bell, like angels singing, like happyhappyhappy and Iwaizumi's heart stutters. It's his favorite song, Oikawa being happy. 

"Thank you." Oikawa says, mouthing at his jaw. 

"For what, Tooru?" Iwaizumi asks. 

"For being born, Hajime."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading. :) Let me know what you think? I adore feedback, and it always means the world to me. If you have any prompts/requests, let me know and I will be happy to take your suggestions. I hope you enjoyed. Thanks again. x


End file.
